Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
