went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
