I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
