FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
