He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
