its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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