Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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