hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
