you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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