I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize