Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
