NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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