Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
