We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
this just has baby written all over it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize