roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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