i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
