i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
