I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
