I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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