we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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