I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
we're so committed to being not committed
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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