if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
