Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
