So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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