Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
