That's when you crack a 10am beer
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We're too hungover to prance.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize