508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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