I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
