Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
