It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
