He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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