i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
