I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
