You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
