8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
