am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
