He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
