I am puke
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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