literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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