Don't make out with my wife yet
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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