I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
