Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
