I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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