she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
