Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
