You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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