Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
