Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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