who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
