hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
