Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize