He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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