Me too!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
