We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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