I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
