we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think I sprained my soul last night
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
