who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
