So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
