My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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