You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
