My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
