8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
